[Not my writing: originally posted by @WNRStrangers on Twitter]
Bandwidth
1. When presented with an opportunity or request, ask yourself: Do I have the bandwidth for this? Can I show up for this fully? Am I saying yes out of obligation or inspiration?
Don’t rush – delay
2. It’s better to delay a decision than rush a yes you’ll regret. You can acknowledge a request without committing prematurely. A response like, “This deserves my full commitment. I’ll circle back to make sure I can give it my full attention.” can communicate this clearly.
Torn between two
3. If torn between a yes or no, ask yourself: “Am I doing this to be liked or do I truly feel it’s the right thing to do? Will future me be happy about me saying ‘yes’ to this, even if I don’t fully feel like it in the moment?”
‘No’ can be nice
4. Remember, being nice doesn’t mean saying “yes” when you really mean “no”. Creating clear boundaries is one of the nicest things you can do for the people in your life and for yourself. An honest “no” is better than an ingenuine “yes”.
‘No’ is enough
5. Your “no” doesn’t need a long explanation. You won’t need to rationalize a healthy boundary to someone who values your self-care. Saying no to someone or something also means saying yes to yourself and your own needs.
Offer an alternative
6. If you aren’t able to show up for someone you care about, offer alternatives if possible. Sometimes it’s better to use your energy coming up with a creative solution to fill your absence, rather than showing up and giving 50%.
Overflow
7. Fully showing up for yourself allows you to better show up for others. When you give what you don’t have, you grow resentful over time. When you come from a place of wholeness you’re able to give people the care they deserve.