Being ‘available’ is the opposite of being ‘present’. For a long time, I have been afraid of “No”. There was a time in my life when opportunities were sparse. Out of education, unable to find work experience, no motivation to create things of my own. This was a really difficult time for me – most days… Continue reading I was afraid of “No”
Journal
Human instinct online: The ugly truth
For most of history, humans were separated in space and time. The story of an individual person’s life was only meaningful to a few members of the tribe – and outside of your tribe, you were nobody. Now the world is quite different. Thanks to social media, we all now have the power to produce +… Continue reading Human instinct online: The ugly truth
Feasting on validation
My WdKA takeover has left me feeling both wonderfully connected to other people and, at the same time, emotionally exhausted from battling to maintain integrity while absorbing people’s validation. I feel rather like a wealthy Tudor-age baron, who sits plump and jolly at the head of a banquet table, feasting on delicious fatty foods… enjoying… Continue reading Feasting on validation
Editing is acting
For a couple of weeks I have felt paralysed. This has stopped me from creating or publishing work. I realised that the source of this paralysis was a deep guilt within me – guilt because I was uncertain of my own intentions. Ever since, I have been trying to find a way to tell my story… Continue reading Editing is acting
Tell a bigger story
What is this immense conflict? There is a deep and dreadful guilt in me, that has paralysed me for days. Am I fighting perfectionism? Or is this a different issue? Today, as I ran along the harbour overlooked by a blazing orange sunset, I came to understand why I have felt guilt and paralysis for… Continue reading Tell a bigger story
Public exhibitions of the self
Instagram should not have a purpose in itself; it is merely the recording / publishing of actions, making me accountable and reflecting my values. When I create a work / think a thought / have a conversation / perform an action, nobody knows about it until I prepare it for publication and put it out… Continue reading Public exhibitions of the self
I have a vision: where each day flows into the next
Now I have a new paralysis: the fear of doing things for the wrong reason. This week I have been exploring my intentions. Why do I do things? Why should I do things? If I am certain of my intentions, and certain that my intentions are good, healthy and true, then I can begin to… Continue reading I have a vision: where each day flows into the next
An endless horizon
What can I be certain of? From the moment I was born, I existed as an individual.With every moment that I exist, I experience the present, make decisions, perform actions and affect other people.As an individual agent, I have choice over what I experience, who I decide to be, what I do, who I affect… Continue reading An endless horizon
In bed ’til lunchtime: A dilemma
Today I laid in bed, feeling numb, until lunchtime. I felt the burden of responsibilities that had been neglected for too long. In fact, as I started getting tasks out of the way, I soon realised that my mind was crammed full of small and insignificant tasks from days or even weeks ago, tasks that… Continue reading In bed ’til lunchtime: A dilemma
Breaking the ice
Breaking the ice feels incredible!! This morning I was full of anticipation – nervous, excited, tense for my upcoming podcast debut with Claudia. With a couple hours of thinking + writing I lowered my expectations as much as possible, pre-forgave my imperfections, entered the experimental mindset and reminded myself that its all a joke anyway! The… Continue reading Breaking the ice